When you really think about it, you’re basically introducing yourself and starting a conversation with another person. That’s it.
The more you can keep it at that level of nonchalance, the more likely you are to get a favorable response. Conversely, if you’re ‘sweating bullets’ and visibly nervous as if you’re about to jump out of a plane or like you just robbed a bank, then you’re already ‘playing from behind’ with most women.
The trick is to find a balance between being overly polished and looking like a ‘pick up artist’ and stammering your way through an awkward encounter. The best way to reach this state of equilibrium is to actually get comfortable around other people. The more frequently you talk to strangers of any type, the easier it’ll be when you’re trying to ingratiate yourself to an attractive female.
If you’re a happy, active person that enjoys life, it’ll also be much easier to carry on a conversation after your opening gambit. Few things are as sad as watching someone try to flounder through a conversation in which they have nothing to say.
What Not To Do When Approaching A Woman
Unless you’re giving off serious Charles Manson vibes, most women are at least receptive to attention from strangers. It’s really not any harder than introducing yourself, saying hello, and making conversation.
For that reason, it’s easier to explain what not to do when discussing the best way to approach a random girl.
Above all else, don’t start with an obvious ‘pick up line’, unless you’re well versed at using them and know it is something that will get the conversation off to a good start. Despite all the effort men exert to come up with a perfect ‘opener’, the reality is that if it sounds ‘staged’ in the least, things are unlikely to go well.
A simple “Hi” works as well as anything, so don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to come up with something creative. When you approach a random woman, keep it simple.
Approaching with a highly sexualized line is just as bad. Advanced skill at innuendo and erotic repartee will serve you well in life, but not with a stranger.
Any guy who wants a little extra help approaching random girls should check out a cool online program for men called the Girlfriend Activation System. GFAS does an incredible job helping guys learn the right way to attract women. You can find out more about it at http://wonderwarp.com.
Another big mistake is trying too hard to ‘impress’ a woman in the initial conversation. Men often conflate ‘confidence’ with arrogant bragging, when in actuality talking about your possessions or how much money you make reeks of desperation.
This same concept applies to non-material qualities–sexual prowess, attractiveness to women, etc. In fact, you’re better off trying to get a girl you’re interested in talking about herself and just listening.
Making The Right Moves
A smile and eye contact are good places to start, but too much of this without contact, and you look like a creep or a psychopath. You want to be cool, confident, and nonchalant and make the experience highly personal.
This quality is the antithesis of the ‘pickup line’, and at a high level requires the improvisational skill of a jazz musician. You want to convey that you’ve noticed her without making it sound like you’ve been gawking at her.
At this point, there’s no substitute for actually being perceptive and paying attention. You’ll want to respond to the setting, her vibes, and quickly adjust your tactics based on what she asks you and how she responds to your questioning. In other words, you’ll need to have a legitimate conversation and see where it goes.
For the most success in approaching women, you’ll need to be comfortable with and enjoy the process without having too much of an emotional investment in the outcome. If you hit it off with a girl you just met, that’s great. If not, it shouldn’t undermine your self-confidence one iota.